I’m so glad that I found National Blog Post Month. I have had this blog for quite a while, and my husband, Jason, was always encouraging me to write more often. I did occasionally, but really what was holding me back was knowing that he was probably the only one who read anything that I wrote.

When I found NaBloPoMo, I signed up for a group and made a commitment. I was going to do it! During this month, I blogged at 11:50 after my baby went to bed, I blogged from my in-law’s computer, and even from my husband’s phone! I enjoy updating this blog as I knew I would, and now there are even people to read what I write.

Now, I probably won’t continue to blog every single day, but it will definitely be more often than it was prior to the beginning of November.

There are a few parenting books that I would really like to find the time to read in the next couple months. The No-Cry Discipline Solution by Elizabeth Pantly, The Fussy Baby Book by Dr. Sears, How to Get Your Kids to Eat but Not Too Much by Ellen Satter, Adventures in Tandem Nursing by Hillary Flower, and Adventures in Gentle Discipline by Hillary Flower are all on my list right now.

I’m not quite sure when I’ll get to all these, because with a toddler and a high needs, fussy baby I don’t tend to have a whole lot of time for sitting down to read, but I think that all these books will be worth the time that I put into them. Has anyone read any of these? Any reviews?

A has been in disposable diapers for a day now, and his rash is completely gone. I’m sad that we can’t use our fun, cute, nice diapers for him. I guess now I’m looking for some new reasonably priced non-suedecloth diapers for him. Darn!

A couple days ago, I posted about K’s nursing story. I decided to write down A’s story, too. Obviously, it’s quite a bit shorter, but in the end, my goal for both boys is the same, child-led weaning.

When I got pregnant with A, I was still nursing K. I knew that 70% of babies weaned when their moms got pregnant. I decided to follow a “don’t offer, don’t refuse” approach to nursing with K. He continued to nurse through my pregnancy. When I had A, I expected that since I was still nursing K, I wouldn’t have any soreness issues. I also thought that since A was my second, I would have a smooth road with him.

Ha!

A was born after a pretty quick labor. When I was holding him after birth, I put him to the breast. I was concerned that since I had had flat nipples with K that I would have the same issues with A. Although I knew how to address it, I didn’t want to have to use the shield again. A latched on right away! I didn’t quite know what to expect with a baby who seemed to have no latching issues. He ate for about five or six minutes and seemed content. I offered him the other side, but he pursed his lips shut and there was no forcing him to eat. He knew what he did and didn’t want.

When K was born, I was under the impression that babies should only eat every 3 hours. If K was hungry before 3 hours, it took me some time to realize that was the cause of his crying. I assumed that since I was told by nurses and lactation consultants that babies should eat every 3 hours that if he was crying prior to that it couldn’t be hunger. By the time A was born, I had come to believe differently. I realized that the 3 hour rule was an arbitrary number chosen by someone and jumped on by mainstream culture as a way to schedule and in essence try to control something that is really up to the baby to control. So, when A was born, I offered the breast every time he was fussy if he wasn’t tired or needing a new diaper. I think I nursed him five or six times in the first 8 hours of his life. I was okay with that, and I felt comfortable knowing that he was getting the colostrum he needed. However, through the day, he seemed to have increasing trouble latching. He was taking 10-15 minutes of fussing before he would latch. Once he latched, though, he was nursing well.

At the hospital where I delivered, the nurses come around at about 10:00 every night and take the babies to the nursery to be checked by the pediatrician and have their vitals taken. We sent A with the nurse and waited for an hour or so for him to return. Well, an hour and twenty minutes later, he didn’t return, but the nurse did. She said that when the doctor had been looking at him, his respirations had been unusually high. Instead of having 50-60 respirations per minute, he was breathing nearly 100 respirations per minute, so they had admitted him to the NICU and would be watching him until 1:00 a.m. We were more surprised than scared. We had just been with him and he seemed fine. It seemed weird to us that he would suddenly be in the NICU.

They brought him back to us at 1 and said that he was doing better. I fed him, and after I fed him, I noticed that his breathing had sped up again. I knew he was breathing faster than the 50-60 breaths he should have been having, so we buzzed the nurse and she took him to the NICU again. I asked that he be brought to me as soon as he was showing signs of hunger. I didn’t want him put on a schedule or “held off.” The nurses explained to me that when it was time for him to eat at around 4, his breathing had still been to fast. The doctor was worried that he would aspirate milk into his lungs, so instead they had been giving him sugar water from a syringe. Although I wasn’t happy, I didn’t know what else to do.

The next morning, A returned to us. He was doing fine and was ready to be back with mom and dad. He did alright through the day. He was having trouble latching though. He seemed to be gumming my nipple instead of sucking. The LC came to see me, and she suggested that we do some suck training. We were supposed to let him suck on our fingers between feedings so he could get used to the sucking action. Then, right before feedings we were supposed to get him to suck on our finger and then transfer him to the breast. We tried that, but it didn’t seem to make much of a difference. He still struggled to latch.

Again that night, the nurse came to collect the babies for the pediatrician’s examination. Again, she returned to tell us that A had been breathing more quickly than normal, and his oxygen levels were dropping a little more than they liked. He was back in the NICU. I insisted again that they please bring him to me when it was time to eat. This time, they did bring him about every 3 hours for feedings.

We were told the next morning that A most likely had TTN. The doctor explained this was most likely caused by his fast delivery and the fact that not all the fluid was squeezed out of his lungs when he went through the birth canal. It wasn’t serious, and it should go away by 3-5 days after birth, but just in case she wanted us to stay another night in the hospital with A being monitored constantly.

We moved to pediatrics, and A was placed on a monitor in the room. He was allowed to stay with us all night. He nursed about every hour or hour and a half for ten minutes. The nurses kept urging me to nurse him longer so that he wouldn’t need to eat so often, but I knew that he was doing just fine and I continued to allow him to eat on demand.

When we went home, A continued to struggle with latching. It was usually taking anywhere from 10-15 minutes to get him latched for a feeding, but once he was on, he did fine. I did notice though, that he seemed to be choking and struggling with my letdown more than K ever did. A didn’t really seem to enjoy nursing and he rarely comfort nursed. He seemed to have sort of a business like approach. It satisfied his hunger, and that was it. It didn’t appear to provide any comfort for him. Also, he seemed to be having more and more issues with gassiness. Some evenings, he would be gassy and arching in pain for more than an hour as he cried and cried.

After a bit of reading and asking friends who breastfed for help, we realized that Asa had a couple things going on. One was a dairy sensitivity. I’m still not sure if he’s sensitive or allergic to dairy, but any time I ate dairy, he would have a lot of gas and stomach pain. I also had a very large supply and a fast letdown, so when my milk letdown for him, he was practically drowning each feeding. I had to start block feeding to deal with this.

For a week, it seemed like all our problems were solved. Then, the gassiness came back and so did the crying. It was very frustrating. We took him to the doctor. We tried feeding him more, burping him more often, and a bunch of other things. During this time, I heard a lot of feedback from those around me and most of it was encouragement to stop nursing. It seemed as though they thought I was causing A’s issues by continuing to nurse.

Finally, when A was about 3 1/2 months old, we started him on some reflux medicine, and that seemed to help. He was no longer crying for an hour in the evenings and his spitting up went from fountain-like to minimal. It was wonderful!

He’s still a frequent nurser at 4 months old. He nurses at least ever 2 or 2 1/2 hours during the day, and he is up anywhere between three and eight times a night. I know that one day I will look back and this time will be just a memory, but right now it’s hard. I feel tired all the time and most of the time I’m about one step from crabby, too. Poor K, and poor Jason. Looking back on all A’s issues so far, I do not for one minute regret choosing to breastfeed him. In fact, I think that because of his issues, breastfeeding has been the better choice for him, and I am glad I had the support to continue when things got tough.

We have been cloth diapering K and A for a while now. A has worn mostly cloth since he came home from the hospital, and K has been in cloth since May. When A was very small, he had Kissaluv diapers with (mostly) Thirsties covers. K has always worn Bum Genius One Size diapers.

Once A got to be about 12 or 13 pounds, we moved him into the Bum Genius diapers, too. It was wonderfully convenient. They both wore the same diaper. We separated them by color. K wore all blue diapers, and A wore the green and yellow. This helped us avoid having to snap and unsnap the diapers to resize them over and over. Another benefit of the diapers is that they fit babies from 10 pounds to 35 pounds. We bought enough for our boys, and at that point, we we were done buying diapers forever! Perfect, right?

Unfortunately, no. Some time after A started wearing the Bum Genius diapers, he started getting a contact rash on his tummy and around his legs. So, for about a month now, I’ve been trying to figure out what could be causing the rash. Is it too much detergent? Not enough detergent? Is there not enough absorption in the insert? Am I changing him often enough? I’ve gotten nowhere. I am having to admit to myself that it is possible that he is sensitive to the suedecloth that lines the diapers.

Both Jason and I are frustrated with this conclusion. Unfortunately for us, the Bum Genius diapers are pretty expensive, and we have quite a few of them. It’s looking like we are going to have to either keep them for later and hope that A is less sensitive at that point or buy new diapers. At this point, going back to disposables is not an option that we are interested in. There are so many benefits to using cloth diapers, and we like the diapers, so it’s hard to consider a return to disposables.

Many times on blogs and forums, I’ve read people share their birth stories, but I rarely read anyone’s nursing story. As much as my kids’ birth stories are amazing and wonderful and exciting, to me, so are their nursing stories. Many mamas want to breastfeed, but they don’t have either the knowledge or the support to do it. When things start to become harder, sometimes those who should be the most supportive end up saying things like, “Maybe you should stop nursing.” “Maybe you should try a bottle of formula so you can get some sleep.” “Are you sure he/she is getting enough?” Unfortunately, in an attempt to help, statements like that can discourage a new, emotional mom even more. Neither of my nursing experiences have been easy or without struggle, so I thought maybe if I share mine they will encourage other moms out there to share theirs and support the new moms who are just trying to survive.

So, if you’re a family member or friend and you don’t really want to read about 2 years of nursing, this is your cue to stop. Everyone else, onward and upward.

Throughout my pregnancy, I had a few people ask me if I was planning to nurse my new baby. As most new moms who plan to nurse say, I also answered, “As long as I can, I plan to.” I read a few books on parenting, and in one book, I read that you should commit to nursing for at least six weeks before making a decision on whether or not to continue. I decided that I could make that commitment. After all, how hard could it be to nurse for six weeks, right?

I knew that if I was able to have a natural birth with no pain medications and no interventions, I had a better chance of having an awake and responsive baby. While I was pretty determined not to have an epidural, besides the fear of the needle in my back, my primary reason was that I was afraid it would interfere with nursing the baby. I also knew that it was important to nurse as soon as possible after birth, because some babies have a period of very heavy sleepiness that can last for quite a while.

When K was born, I had the natural birth I desired. He was born with the cord around his neck, but after the doctor did a little maneuvering, he was free and doing just fine. The nurses cleaned him up a little and brought him back to me. They asked if I wanted to nurse him and I said yes, so I tried to get him to latch on. In my mind, the process was about two steps long. One, I would offer my breast. Two, he would latch and nurse. Well, that didn’t happen quite that way. I offered, and he looked at me. With the nurse’s help, I tried for another 15-20 minutes to get him to latch, but he didn’t. The nurse told me that it wasn’t unusual for a baby not to latch right away, and so she said that I should try again in 3 hours. Since I was tired and needed a shower, I agreed. Jason held K as he slept, and I showered and moved to my new room.

Three hours later, we tried again. Still nothing. The nurse suggested I try a different position. I tried the football hold, the cradle hold, and side lying. None of those worked. At this point, I was starting to worry a little. I asked for a visit from the lactation consultant, but I was told she was unavailable. The nurses told me again that it wasn’t unusual for a baby not to eat much the first day, so I shouldn’t worry. I could just try again in three hours.

Again and again, we tried to nurse, but K was having none of it. He would open his mouth, but then he wouldn’t latch. He just didn’t seem interested. He would attempt to nurse for 15-20 minutes or as long as I could keep him awake, and then he would sleep until I woke him 3 hours later.

After a day and a half of this, one nurse felt that he was getting to a point where he needed to eat something soon. I began to pump after attempting to feed him each time, and I got some colostrum. Colostrum is what your body produces before your milk actually comes in. It’s yellow, thick, and full of antibodies. It’s wonderful for your baby. Because K wasn’t latching, we started giving the colostrum through a medicine dropper. I was getting about 10 ccs every 3 hours. After doing this a couple times, the nurse came back and told me that I really should give K some formula so he didn’t get dehydrated, because he needed more than what I was providing him. Both Jason and I were very frustrated, anxious, and upset. We had asked to see the lactation consultant a few more times on day two, and were told that she would come when she wasn’t so busy. She was also a NICU nurse and working on a mother pregnant with twins (31 weeks) to try to keep her from going into preterm labor.

So, with no idea what to do and no real help, we agreed to give some formula. The nurse offered K a bottle, and he latched on right away and sucked down about 2-3 ounces of formula. I cried for most of the feeding. We continued all night offering the breast every 3 hours and then I would pump and we would give whatever I pumped through a medicine dropper. Then, we’d give some formula from the dropper. Feedings were taking at least one and a half or two hours. So, after almost two hours, we’d go back to sleep for an hour and start all over with little or no success.

Finally, on the third day, the lactation consultant was able to come see me. She brought a nipple shield and a supplemental nursing system. A nipple shield is a small, thin, silicone shield that goes over the nipple so a baby can latch when he wouldn’t be able to otherwise. A supplemental nursing system is a contraption that goes around a mother’s neck, and then a tube goes down to the breast and the baby sucks on this little tube at the same time as the nipple. When she watched K attempt to latch, she told me that I had flat nipples and that was what was preventing him from latching. She showed me how to use the nipple shield, and FINALLY K latched. I was so happy. I couldn’t believe it.

Because he hadn’t been eating well, the pediatrician decided to admit K into peds, and Jason and I were able to stay in his room with him for another day to make sure he was still eating well. K was now latching, but we were still struggling a little bit. He was eating for 45 minutes or more on each side, and it was nearly impossible to keep him awake. After waking him, we had to change his diaper and take of his clothes to wake him up. Then, I fed him for about 1 1/2 hours before pumping for 15 minutes. Again, by the time I finished this process, there was less than an hour left before I had to wake him again for the next feeding. The good news though was that he wasn’t losting any more weight. He was finally eating, peeing, and pooping.

We went home, and feedings remained a challenge. K woke every 2 1/2 or 3 hours at night to eat, and feedings took at least an hour. During the day though, I had to wake him and struggled to get him to nurse every 3 hours.

That went on for about three months. During this time, I tried to get him to stop using the shield and nurse without, but he couldn’t or wouldn’t. Finally, one day, I was trying to get him to nurse when he was three months old, and he refused to latch. As a last resort, I took the shield off and offered the breast. He latched right on! I was so amazed. Another big change that day was that he went from taking 60+ minutes for a feeding to only needing 15-20 minutes. I even called my sister-in-law to ask her if that was normal. It was such a quick change that I wasn’t sure what to do, but I just decided to go with it.

At that point, my nursing goal became to make it to one year. Looking back, I can say that after that day when K was 3 months, we didn’t have many, if any, challenges for quite a while. A week before Kael turned one, he got the rotavirus. He also ended up with an ear infection from it. During that time, he didn’t want anything to eat or drink. He only nursed. I am confident that nursing is what kept him from becoming dehydrated.

When he turned one, I knew that I had made my goal of nursing for a year, but other than that nothing else seemed to have changed, so I wasn’t sure why I would choose to wean at that point. So, I didn’t. A week later, I found out I was pregnant with A, and knowing that 70% of babies who are nursing during pregnancy self-wean before the next baby is born, I decided to let K make the decision about whether to continue nursing or not.

For the first 20 weeks of my pregnancy with A, I didn’t find much difference in my nursing relationship with K. He nursed 4 predictable times a day. He nursed first thing in the morning, noonish, 4 o’clockish, and before bed. However, right around 20 weeks, my milk supply dropped drastically. It was a very hard time for K. He went from nursing 4 times a day for 15 minutes to nursing almost all day long. He would ask to nurse and he would latch on and nurse for an hour or more at a time. I knew that at this point nursing was as important for security as it was for nutrition, so I allowed him to nurse as much as he wanted. Some days, I think he nursed more of his waking time than he did anything else.

By about 30 weeks, I knew I had to talk to my doctor about my contractions. I was having braxton hicks contractions all day long and especially while nursing. I was having 30 or more contractions a day. Some days they were as close as 2-3 minutes apart, but they never lasted very long. When I did bring it up with my doctor, she did a test for preterm labor and ordered an ultrasound to check my cervix. Both came back with reassuring results. I was negative for preterm labor, and my cervix was normal, long, and closed. I was okay to continue nursing.

I did limit K’s nursing a little after this point. Since he had been born at 36 weeks, I was concerned about another early baby. Also, the closer I got to my due date, the stronger the contractions while nursing got. At some points, the contractions were so strong that I had to hold my ribs and breathe very shallow to manage the pain.

At about 33 weeks, K started nursing less. In fact, in May (A was due in July), he went an entire day without nursing for the first time in his life. After that point, he would often go 2-3 days without nursing, then, nurse 4 times in a day. I had decided at that point to let him do whatever he wanted. I didn’t offer to nurse, but I didn’t refuse when he asked.

A was born three days after his due date, so I did not have a second early baby. A was also 9 pounds 12 ounces, so apparently nursing K during the pregnancy didn’t keep A from getting the nutrients he needed to grow and gain weight. While I was in the hospital, K didn’t ask to nurse and I didn’t offer.

When I got home from the hospital with A, he again didn’t ask to nurse. I waited a day or two, and finally, I was so engorged one day I asked if he wanted to nurse and he did. When he realized that my milk was back, his eyes got wide and he just melted. It was everything I’d hoped for.

Unfortunately, K got a pretty nasty cold right away after A was born. So, as I was dealing with trying to learn to nurse A (which is another story in itself), K was trying to nurse with a plugged nose. He was so excited to have milk again that he was nursing as much as A some days. When he was sick, he would latch, and start nursing. Then, when he had to breathe, instead of unlatching and breathing, he would hold my nipple with his teeth to take a breath. Very uncomfortable, bordering on painful. He also had some issues with jealousy of A nursing. He never seemed upset at the baby or mad at him, but often, when I was nursing A, he would stand on my feet and cry as he waited for his turn.

Slowly, we got into a routine where K was less upset with A nursing. I think he realized that there was still milk even if A did nurse first. He still gets upset while waiting for his turn some days, but that’s not nearly as common as it was even a month ago.

K still nurses several times a day. Some days, he nurses as often as A does, but again, I’ve chosen not to limit his nursing. I feel like he’s had to grow up a bit more quickly than he would have otherwise since we chose to have another baby so close to him in age. I believe that if I allow him to control the nursing relationship, he will be able to make developmentally appropriate choices for when to nurse, how often to nurse, and when to stop.

So, that’s K’s nursing story. As hard as it was in the beginning, I’m not sure I would change anything, because if I did, I don’t know where we would be now because of the changes. I feel like where we are right now is a pretty good place to be.

This year for Thanksgiving, we went to my in-laws’ house. It was a lot of fun, and I love spending time there. On Thursday, it was our family (4), Jason’s parents (2), his older sister and her family (3), and his brother and his family (5). So, in one house we had 8 adults and 6 kids and a new puppy. It was definitely a loud, energetic day. We stayed overnight and yesterday Jason’s younger sister and her family (5) came over, so there was 10 adults and 9 kids and a new puppy in the house.

When we’re there, there is so much going on and K doesn’t take good naps. He plays well while we’re there, but as we were leaving I noticed that he had circles under his eyes. We got home tonight and he was pretty tired. We put him to bed at 7, and we haven’t heard from him since. Now, I’ll say again that I had a very good time and I love seeing Jason’s family, but I’m not sure exactly what I did that made me so tired, but I fell asleep in the car on the way home and did the head bob for at least 25 miles.

*yawn* Both boys are in bed, and I’m thinking it might be time to join them.

Q: what do you call a bee that makes milk instead of honey?

A: a boo-bee!

Thanks to Kiley for the joke and to Jason for the use of his phone to write this blog.

We are staying at my husband’s parents’ house right now. It’s been a nice time to relax, eat, and spend time as a family. Although we only had to travel an hour from our house, it feels like a mini get away. I get extra hands to help with the baby and extra eyes for my toddler while being fed and taken care of.

I hope you all are having a happy Thanksgiving. Anyone planning to be at Aeropostale at 3:30 am when it opens? I won’t be there, you can count on that! I might only be half way done with my nighttime feedings by then. Eleven o’clock at Caribou Coffee sounds like something that is more my style.

We are going to my in-laws for Thanksgiving. I’m looking forward to a day with the grandparents and the rest of the family. My husband’s family is so fun to be around! Of course it’s a bit crazy with so many kids running around, but K loves his cousins, and I get lots of help with A, so it works out great for me!

Happy Thanksgiving!

I’ll be blogging from their house tomorrow. Hopefully I can get it figured out. I haven’t missed a day yet in November. I’m hoping Thanksgiving doesn’t cause my first miss.