A couple days ago, I posted about K’s nursing story. I decided to write down A’s story, too. Obviously, it’s quite a bit shorter, but in the end, my goal for both boys is the same, child-led weaning.

When I got pregnant with A, I was still nursing K. I knew that 70% of babies weaned when their moms got pregnant. I decided to follow a “don’t offer, don’t refuse” approach to nursing with K. He continued to nurse through my pregnancy. When I had A, I expected that since I was still nursing K, I wouldn’t have any soreness issues. I also thought that since A was my second, I would have a smooth road with him.

Ha!

A was born after a pretty quick labor. When I was holding him after birth, I put him to the breast. I was concerned that since I had had flat nipples with K that I would have the same issues with A. Although I knew how to address it, I didn’t want to have to use the shield again. A latched on right away! I didn’t quite know what to expect with a baby who seemed to have no latching issues. He ate for about five or six minutes and seemed content. I offered him the other side, but he pursed his lips shut and there was no forcing him to eat. He knew what he did and didn’t want.

When K was born, I was under the impression that babies should only eat every 3 hours. If K was hungry before 3 hours, it took me some time to realize that was the cause of his crying. I assumed that since I was told by nurses and lactation consultants that babies should eat every 3 hours that if he was crying prior to that it couldn’t be hunger. By the time A was born, I had come to believe differently. I realized that the 3 hour rule was an arbitrary number chosen by someone and jumped on by mainstream culture as a way to schedule and in essence try to control something that is really up to the baby to control. So, when A was born, I offered the breast every time he was fussy if he wasn’t tired or needing a new diaper. I think I nursed him five or six times in the first 8 hours of his life. I was okay with that, and I felt comfortable knowing that he was getting the colostrum he needed. However, through the day, he seemed to have increasing trouble latching. He was taking 10-15 minutes of fussing before he would latch. Once he latched, though, he was nursing well.

At the hospital where I delivered, the nurses come around at about 10:00 every night and take the babies to the nursery to be checked by the pediatrician and have their vitals taken. We sent A with the nurse and waited for an hour or so for him to return. Well, an hour and twenty minutes later, he didn’t return, but the nurse did. She said that when the doctor had been looking at him, his respirations had been unusually high. Instead of having 50-60 respirations per minute, he was breathing nearly 100 respirations per minute, so they had admitted him to the NICU and would be watching him until 1:00 a.m. We were more surprised than scared. We had just been with him and he seemed fine. It seemed weird to us that he would suddenly be in the NICU.

They brought him back to us at 1 and said that he was doing better. I fed him, and after I fed him, I noticed that his breathing had sped up again. I knew he was breathing faster than the 50-60 breaths he should have been having, so we buzzed the nurse and she took him to the NICU again. I asked that he be brought to me as soon as he was showing signs of hunger. I didn’t want him put on a schedule or “held off.” The nurses explained to me that when it was time for him to eat at around 4, his breathing had still been to fast. The doctor was worried that he would aspirate milk into his lungs, so instead they had been giving him sugar water from a syringe. Although I wasn’t happy, I didn’t know what else to do.

The next morning, A returned to us. He was doing fine and was ready to be back with mom and dad. He did alright through the day. He was having trouble latching though. He seemed to be gumming my nipple instead of sucking. The LC came to see me, and she suggested that we do some suck training. We were supposed to let him suck on our fingers between feedings so he could get used to the sucking action. Then, right before feedings we were supposed to get him to suck on our finger and then transfer him to the breast. We tried that, but it didn’t seem to make much of a difference. He still struggled to latch.

Again that night, the nurse came to collect the babies for the pediatrician’s examination. Again, she returned to tell us that A had been breathing more quickly than normal, and his oxygen levels were dropping a little more than they liked. He was back in the NICU. I insisted again that they please bring him to me when it was time to eat. This time, they did bring him about every 3 hours for feedings.

We were told the next morning that A most likely had TTN. The doctor explained this was most likely caused by his fast delivery and the fact that not all the fluid was squeezed out of his lungs when he went through the birth canal. It wasn’t serious, and it should go away by 3-5 days after birth, but just in case she wanted us to stay another night in the hospital with A being monitored constantly.

We moved to pediatrics, and A was placed on a monitor in the room. He was allowed to stay with us all night. He nursed about every hour or hour and a half for ten minutes. The nurses kept urging me to nurse him longer so that he wouldn’t need to eat so often, but I knew that he was doing just fine and I continued to allow him to eat on demand.

When we went home, A continued to struggle with latching. It was usually taking anywhere from 10-15 minutes to get him latched for a feeding, but once he was on, he did fine. I did notice though, that he seemed to be choking and struggling with my letdown more than K ever did. A didn’t really seem to enjoy nursing and he rarely comfort nursed. He seemed to have sort of a business like approach. It satisfied his hunger, and that was it. It didn’t appear to provide any comfort for him. Also, he seemed to be having more and more issues with gassiness. Some evenings, he would be gassy and arching in pain for more than an hour as he cried and cried.

After a bit of reading and asking friends who breastfed for help, we realized that Asa had a couple things going on. One was a dairy sensitivity. I’m still not sure if he’s sensitive or allergic to dairy, but any time I ate dairy, he would have a lot of gas and stomach pain. I also had a very large supply and a fast letdown, so when my milk letdown for him, he was practically drowning each feeding. I had to start block feeding to deal with this.

For a week, it seemed like all our problems were solved. Then, the gassiness came back and so did the crying. It was very frustrating. We took him to the doctor. We tried feeding him more, burping him more often, and a bunch of other things. During this time, I heard a lot of feedback from those around me and most of it was encouragement to stop nursing. It seemed as though they thought I was causing A’s issues by continuing to nurse.

Finally, when A was about 3 1/2 months old, we started him on some reflux medicine, and that seemed to help. He was no longer crying for an hour in the evenings and his spitting up went from fountain-like to minimal. It was wonderful!

He’s still a frequent nurser at 4 months old. He nurses at least ever 2 or 2 1/2 hours during the day, and he is up anywhere between three and eight times a night. I know that one day I will look back and this time will be just a memory, but right now it’s hard. I feel tired all the time and most of the time I’m about one step from crabby, too. Poor K, and poor Jason. Looking back on all A’s issues so far, I do not for one minute regret choosing to breastfeed him. In fact, I think that because of his issues, breastfeeding has been the better choice for him, and I am glad I had the support to continue when things got tough.