Whoops! On Thursday night, Jason, the boys, and I were on our way home from a potluck to celebrate World Breastfeeding Week. As we were in the car, Jason said, “Did you post anything on your blog about World Breastfeeding Week?” Um, no, whoops! I did not post anything about it. When I thought about it, I realized the reason I didn’t is because it was such a part of my life and my daily blog reading that I assumed everyone would know. Who doesn’t know that World Breastfeeding Week is August 1-7? Then I realized that until 2 years ago I had not heard of it.

So, I guess I need to consider this my chance to spread the word. Maybe next year, I will be able to announce it earlier and invite a few of you to a world breastfeeding week event!

Since A is now one, I guess I am now officially an extended, tandem nurser! Woohoo! K is two and will be three in November and still nursing. I recently had someone ask me how I decided to nurse him for so long. Really, it wasn’t a one time decision that I made. It was several smaller decisions made along the way. Many people decide to stop nursing at twelve months and are surprised when I tell them I don’t plan to wean A any time soon. Those same people are generally even more surprised to find out that not only will I not wean A soon, K is still nursing, too. :

Since I decided to put a link to my website in my Facebook page, I thought now is as good a time as any to answer some of those questions. I don’t feel like I need to defend my decision, and I’m not trying to tell anyone else what they should do for their family. I simply like to talk about breastfeeding and other parenting issues. Thus, I have a blog pretty much dedicated to doing just that!

When K was born, I had my share of struggles learning to nurse him. He was early. He needed a shield to latch. He didn’t latch for the first several days of life. He had jaundice. He was a sleepy baby. I am sure there are a couple others I could list, but luckily, those first weeks have faded a little in my memory and now I remember them mostly with rose colored glasses. My first goal was to nurse him for 6 weeks. Once I made that goal, my next goal became three months. Once I made that goal, I decided to go big and made my goal twelve months. Well, by the time K was a year old, I was pregnant with A. I knew that statistically most babies will wean during a mother’s pregnancy. I also knew that K still depended on nursing for comfort and nutrition throughout the day and sometimes through the night, too. I figured that since 70% of babies wean during a mother’s pregnancy, he would too, and I would let him decide when that time was instead of deciding for him.

Well, as my pregnancy progressed, K still seemed to need “mommy milk” in a very real way that wasn’t met in any other manner. I can’t say that nursing while pregnant was the easiest thing I have ever done or the most comfortable. However, it was something I did for K because he needed, wanted, and liked it

K was 20.5 months old when A was born. At that point, being able to nurse both K and A was a tremendous help in the transition from one child to two. K was still very young and still needed a lot of mommy time. Because of that, I decided to allow him to continue nursing on demand. I felt as though choosing to have A was a decision that Jason and I made. K had no part in that decision, so I didn’t think that having A should be the reason he was no longer able to nurse. At that point, it became my goal to allow K to choose his own date for weaning. I reserve the right to change my mind in the case of any unforseen circumstances, but at this point, I hope to achieve child-led weaning.

Now, I am currently nursing A who is also past twelve months. Because of the positive experience I have had with nursing K, I hope to also allow A to make the decision of child-led weaning for himself. Also, with A being sensitive to dairy, we won’t be introducing cow’s milk or other dairy products to him for a while. Continuing to nurse him helps me to ensure that he’s getting fats, proteins, calories, and other immunological benefits during his toddlerhood.

What I’ve written are my personal reasons for choosing extended and tandem nursing for my family. There are also several resources that encourage and support extended nursing. If you are interested, here are a few:

Extended Nursing Fact Sheet

Are there health benefits to nursing past one year of age?

Breastfeed a Toddler- Why on Earth?

Breastfeeding Beyond a Year

Breastfeeding and the Use of Human Milk (AAP)

Pediatricians and parents should be aware that exclusive breastfeeding is sufficient to support optimal growth and development for approximately the first 6 months of life and provides continuing protection against diarrhea and respiratory tract infection. Breastfeeding should be continued for at least the first year of life and beyond for as long as mutually desired by mother and child.

The World Health Organization’s infant feeding recommendations

As a global public health recommendation, infants should be exclusively breastfed(1) for the first six months of life to achieve optimal growth, development and health(2). Thereafter, to meet their evolving nutritional requirements, infants should receive nutritionally adequate and safe complementary foods while breastfeeding continues for up to two years of age or beyond.

Maybe instead of my post being called Wordless Wednesday, I could call it Wordy Wednesday.

When I was nursing K, those words were sometimes enough to make me stay home. I used a nipple shield with him for the first 3 months. He also took forever to finish a feeding. Maybe it wasn’t really forever, but 45 minutes is a long time when you are sitting at the DMV or in Burger King. As I’ve said before, A is a different nurser completely. He eats a lot more often, but he is much faster. Compared to K’s 45 minute nursing sessions, A is an olympic sprinter!

With K, I was usually able to plan my outings and errands around his rather predictable 3-4 hour eating schedule. A has been completely different. Until he was 8 months old, he was still eating at least every 1-1.5 hours. Since then, he’s spread his daytime feedings out to about every 2 or 2.5 hours. Because of that, I’ve had to nurse in public far more often than I did with K. In fact, just this past Tuesday, I had the opportunity to nurse in our local Applebee’s. Many of you who follow breastfeeding news know that Applebee’s hasn’t had the best publicity in regards to nursing moms. I am pleased to say that no one batted an eye. A was nursing when the waitress brought our food. Then, when she came back to check on us, he was still nursing. So, while others have had other experiences, I have to say that Applebee’s is one place that is on my list of “thumbs up to nursing” places in our area.

That is how often K has nursed in the past two days. Looking back, I can see that there has been a gradual decrease in his nursing since winter ended and spring started. I think it’s even possible that during the times we were trapped inside due to weather, he nursed for something to do. Now that he’s getting older (2 years, 8 months), it wouldn’t be out of the ordinary for him to start moving more and more toward weaning, I suppose.

I have never had a goal in mind for him as far as age goes, but I think I would like it if he could hang on until he turned 3. That’s a nice round number, right? I’m just not ready to consider him a graduated nursling yet! I know that he could hang onto just these two nursing sessions for a long time, and I hope he does, but only TWO in one day?!?!?!? That was a big surprise when I realized just how little he has been nursing lately. Definitely bittersweet.

At least if he weans, I will still be nursing A. A is showing no signs of weaning, and it looks very possible that he could nurse as long or longer than K based on his nursing sessions at this point.

When I was in college and for the years after before I was pregnant with K, I was a semi-regular blood donator (is that a word?). In fact, Jason’s cousin tried to convince Jason that one time when Jason and I went to donate blood together was actually our first date. It wasn’t by the way. I just didn’t want to go alone.

Anyway, after I had K, I was interested in donating blood again, but I had a hard time finding any information on the subject. Most of the information I found said that it was allowed but it was a mom’s choice whether or not it would work for her. Well, that didn’t help me much. I checked on the La Leche League website and the American Red Cross website although it seems they have changed their layout and that information is no longer available. I found a few specifics, but I didn’t find a hard yes or no answer.

When I had A, I had a fairly significant oversupply of milk after he was born and had to (and still have to) take steps to control my supply to allow him to be able to nurse without getting overwhelmed by the milk. Because of this, I felt more confident in choosing to donate. I thought I would wait until he was 6 months old and taking some solids just in case I did have a dip in supply. Well, he’s now almost 8 months and not taking solids. I just couldn’t wait any longer. In my absence from donating, Jason has caught up to my donations and surpassed me! I need to get donating again.

I made my appointment, and the day I was supposed to go was -38 degrees with a -54 degree windchill. Needless to say, I did not go that day. I just couldn’t justify taking my 2 boys out in that weather for anything other than an emergency. I rescheduled my appointment and went the next week. I really didn’t do much to prepare ahead of time. I made sure that I was drinking extra water and eating well the days before. My appointment went well. When the woman put the needle in to draw blood, she had a little trouble finding the vein. That resulted in me being a bit sore that night and the next day, but it wasn’t anything terrible.

I know that one person’s anecdotal experience doesn’t replace the advice of a doctor or lactation consultant, but I hope it helps at least a little bit if this is a decision you’ve been trying to make for yourself.

This morning, at my MOPS group, our speakers were a local couple, and they talked about intimacy in marriage. I know that when many people think of intimacy, they think of sex. However, this couple talked about intimacy outside of sex. They talked about being open, honest, and vulnerable with each other. They talked about spending time together as friends and just being. It was great to see a couple married 31+ years discuss these issues. They also discussed their earliest memories of intimacy as being with their parents (her with her mom, and him with his dad).

The more I thought about intimacy in relationships, the more I thought about nursing and breastfeeding. It’s a very private, intimate, and open relationship that a child and a mom have while nursing. Looking at my relationships with both K and A, I can say that I really see a closeness in my relationship with K that I don’t have yet with A. Having spent at least a couple hours a day nursing him almost every day for the past 2 years has definitely developed that relationship. I also see an intimacy in my relationship with A that I didn’t have with K. Because A has been such a high-needs baby, I have so much time with him. It’s also been pretty intense time over the past seven months.

After hearing the couple speak today, I began to think about my boys’ future relationships, and I hope that in some way, having this relationship with me will be the beginning of a lifetime of experiences that allow them to experience intimacy (in many ways) with those in their futures.

It’s been just over 6 months since A was born! Time goes so fast. Six months of tandem nursing. Six months of being a mom of two. Six months of night feedings. Six months of loving another little person more than I ever thought possible.

Loving his Jumperoo and his sunglasses that he is wearing at K’s insistence

Jason snapped this picture of me and A at Target one day

When I started NaBloPoMo, I was a sporadic blogger at best. At worst, I sometimes let my blog go for *cough* months *cough cough* without writing anything. After NaBloPoMo, I was pretty energized as far as blogging goes. I saw how quickly and easily I could put something up. I liked the feedback I got from comments and friends and family. What could stop me from blogging 20+ times a month, right?

My son.

I’m not trying to say that in a mean way. He is simply a high needs baby, and he takes a lot of time and energy to parent. If you’ve read my previous blogs, you know that I’ve been dealing with a dairy sensitivity and some sleep issues. Well, we are still dealing with the dairy sensitivity and sleep issues. I have tried a few times to introduce dairy back into my diet with the same results each time. A cries and screams while arching his back for 30-45 minutes. Not worth it. The sleep issues have changed a bit though. When A was younger, I was often up with him for 30, 45, 60, or 90 minutes while he was figuring out that night just isn’t the time to be up and play. Thankfully he seems to have realized that night isn’t a good time to play and be up. He has, however, gone from waking 2-4 times a night to waking 7 times or more.

In talking with some other mom friends of mine, they suggested that since he has a dairy sensitivity, he may also have other sensitivities that affect his sleep. For a few months now, I’ve considered this and ignored the possibility. I finally decided to do something about it. Unfortunately for me, that something is the Elimination Diet. So, for the past 2 days, I’ve eaten nothing but chicken and jasmine rice. I’ve had nothing but water to drink. My mom friends told me that if this was going to be something that worked for A, I would notice results in 1-3 days. Well, last night, we did not notice any results. I’m hoping for some sort of change tonight.

In all the information that I read about the elimination diet, I have read that it takes up to two weeks for it to work. To be honest, I don’t know if I can do chicken and rice only for two weeks. I don’t love chicken, and I’m starting to hate rice (well, not hate). I am not really sure what to do, though. I can’t keep getting up with him five or more times a night (Jason usually gets up the other 2-3) and parenting both him and K during the day, but I also don’t know if I can survive while tandem nursing if all I’m eating is rice and chicken. It doesn’t seem healthy for long term nutrition.

So, that’s mostly why I haven’t been all that active on my blog. Hopefully, I will be able to increase my posting frequency as A gets older, starts solids in the next month or two, and gives me some cute funny stories to post.

Well, it’s been three months now, that I have been regularly avoiding dairy. I started when A was about three over four weeks old, we started noticing that his evenings were very fussy, and sometimes he was crying inconsolably for well over 30 minutes. I had been talking to my sister-in-law about her baby who is just four days younger than Asa. She said that she noticed when she had a Dairy Queen Blizzard, her baby was much fussier. I thought about it, and I realized I ate and drank a LOT of foods with dairy in them. I decided to start avoiding dairy to see if we’d notice a difference. We did almost immediately. In the beginning, though, I struggled to find foods to eat that were dairy free since so much of my diet had revolved around dairy.

We suspected that A’s issues included a dairy sensitivity, but he also has some reflux to deal with. Once we felt we had the reflux under control, I tried a few times to introduce dairy back into my diet, and each time it was met with crying, fussing, and tummy aches. Poor guy. So, each time, I immediately elminated it again with positive results.

Now, we’re three months down the road from the initial decision for me to avoid dairy. A is much happier, and I am shocked that one can survive without things like ice cream, cream of mushroom soup in casseroles, ice cream, milk in cereal, and ice cream. I’m hoping that for his sake, it’s only a sensitivity and not an allergy and that he will outgrow it soon.

There are a few parenting books that I would really like to find the time to read in the next couple months. The No-Cry Discipline Solution by Elizabeth Pantly, The Fussy Baby Book by Dr. Sears, How to Get Your Kids to Eat but Not Too Much by Ellen Satter, Adventures in Tandem Nursing by Hillary Flower, and Adventures in Gentle Discipline by Hillary Flower are all on my list right now.

I’m not quite sure when I’ll get to all these, because with a toddler and a high needs, fussy baby I don’t tend to have a whole lot of time for sitting down to read, but I think that all these books will be worth the time that I put into them. Has anyone read any of these? Any reviews?