If you don’t want to read about nursing, today’s a good day to take a break from the beautiful letdown.

First, nursing bras. Who makes these things? Why do they all sag? I have yet to find a nursing bra with good support. Even when I take the little adjuster things (the plastic clasps on the bra that make the straps longer or shorter) and push them over the back of my shoulders, I am still not getting decent support. I have been wearing nursing bras since November of 2005, and I’m still unimpressed. Any suggestions?

Secondly, nursing in winter. I need some new winter clothes or something. Nursing in clothes that keep me warm is a tough job! Sweatshirts are too bulky. Some of my undershirts are a little too tight. Some shirts don’t work out that well with a nursing tanktop. Sigh… Apparently, I’ve been having apparel issues lately.

Next, falling asleep while nursing. Neither of my boys have ever been the nurse to sleep type. A did for a while, but he stopped that quite a while ago. K never really nursed to sleep even as an infant. I’m not sure if it was the turkey or what, but in the past few days, both K and A have fallen asleep in my arms while nursing. It’s such a sweet feeling. They’re just so sweet and pure and loving.

Then, there’s three years of nursing and almost eighteen months of tandem nursing. After three years of nursing K and about 18 months of nursing K and A, I’m starting to feel ready for K to get ready to wean. At this point, I don’t think that I will do anything about my feelings. If K isn’t ready to wean, I won’t push him. I’ve considered limiting the number of times he nurses in a day, but I don’t think that’s fair to him. If he did it out of boredom or habit, I might consider it. I don’t think he does though. I think he really needs to nurse in order to reestablish a connection with me. This morning, my parents were up with the boys while Jason and I got a bit more sleep (thanks a lot, Mom and Dad, we appreciate it). I heard Kael outside the door at one point asking for “mommy milk.” I heard him asking for me a while later just as I was about to get up. When I came out to the living room, he said, “Kael needed you. My wanted mommy milk to feel better.” Now, really, how can I argue with that? I don’t, because I know he’s telling me the truth.

Finally, support. I have the best family. They are all great about the nursing and tandem nursing. My mom nursed me for at least a year and a half. She nursed my brother until he was almost three. She’s always been very supportive of the boys nursing. She encouraged me to check out the local breastfeeding support group which I have really enjoyed, and she was a huge help when both of the boys were newborns. She sat up with me and helped me with diaper changes and burping. WONDERFUL! I know that some people are fortunate enough to have support when their babies are young, but as the baby grows, their support fades away and they hear “when are you going to start that baby on formula/solds/cows milk?” or “when are you going to stop nursing?” I have yet to hear either of those questions. Of course, my boys both eat solids, but I *never* get asked when I’m going to wean! That means a lot to me. Also, over the weekend, my parents stayed here as did my brother and sister-in-law. They don’t have kids yet, so I’m not really sure what their thoughts on nursing are, but I would never have had any reason to suspect they are anything but positive and accepting. K nursed several times over the weekend, and A nursed MANY times. In fact, he nursed a couple times at the dinner table on Thursday during our Thanksgiving dinner, and no one batted an eye.

It’s always nice for us when the 4th of July falls near the beginning or end of the week. We don’t have any family in town, so if it is near a weekend, either we or they can make a 3 day weekend out of it and take a trip. This weekend, Jason’s mom and dad came to visit us.

They drove up yesterday, and brought A a sandbox as a gift for his first birthday. It is very nice. They even bought sand that feels like beach sand! WOW! I want to go play in there once the kids are in bed. K seems to have made more use of it than A has so far. A sat in it yesterday for a while and then started eating the sand. Once he got tired of that, he was tired of the sandbox. K, however, was happy to play in there all afternoon and again this morning for almost the entire morning.

Part of the reason that they stayed overnight is that we are still trying to do a few odds and ends jobs around our house, and sometimes those jobs are easier with a second set of hands. This morning, Jason and his dad worked on installing a fan in our main bathroom. This afternoon, they worked on building a compost bin. Jason found the plans for the bin on Lowe’s website, and I have to say it is much bigger, nicer, and sturdier than I anticipated. We will have to do some serious composting though with this thing.

Jason and his dad were only able to finish about half of the compost bin project. It said that it was a five hour project on the plans, but I think if I were helping, I could easily help them turn it into a ten or twenty hour project. Just think of the family togetherness that could result from that help! So, now the bin is in our garage with the rest of the lumber waiting to be finished. In fact, those things are right next to and on the cement pavers that we will be using in our next big project of re-landscaping the front of the house. That project may have to wait for our next long weekend…Labor Day!

Happy 4th of July!

This morning, at my MOPS group, our speakers were a local couple, and they talked about intimacy in marriage. I know that when many people think of intimacy, they think of sex. However, this couple talked about intimacy outside of sex. They talked about being open, honest, and vulnerable with each other. They talked about spending time together as friends and just being. It was great to see a couple married 31+ years discuss these issues. They also discussed their earliest memories of intimacy as being with their parents (her with her mom, and him with his dad).

The more I thought about intimacy in relationships, the more I thought about nursing and breastfeeding. It’s a very private, intimate, and open relationship that a child and a mom have while nursing. Looking at my relationships with both K and A, I can say that I really see a closeness in my relationship with K that I don’t have yet with A. Having spent at least a couple hours a day nursing him almost every day for the past 2 years has definitely developed that relationship. I also see an intimacy in my relationship with A that I didn’t have with K. Because A has been such a high-needs baby, I have so much time with him. It’s also been pretty intense time over the past seven months.

After hearing the couple speak today, I began to think about my boys’ future relationships, and I hope that in some way, having this relationship with me will be the beginning of a lifetime of experiences that allow them to experience intimacy (in many ways) with those in their futures.

This year for Thanksgiving, we went to my in-laws’ house. It was a lot of fun, and I love spending time there. On Thursday, it was our family (4), Jason’s parents (2), his older sister and her family (3), and his brother and his family (5). So, in one house we had 8 adults and 6 kids and a new puppy. It was definitely a loud, energetic day. We stayed overnight and yesterday Jason’s younger sister and her family (5) came over, so there was 10 adults and 9 kids and a new puppy in the house.

When we’re there, there is so much going on and K doesn’t take good naps. He plays well while we’re there, but as we were leaving I noticed that he had circles under his eyes. We got home tonight and he was pretty tired. We put him to bed at 7, and we haven’t heard from him since. Now, I’ll say again that I had a very good time and I love seeing Jason’s family, but I’m not sure exactly what I did that made me so tired, but I fell asleep in the car on the way home and did the head bob for at least 25 miles.

*yawn* Both boys are in bed, and I’m thinking it might be time to join them.

Q: what do you call a bee that makes milk instead of honey?

A: a boo-bee!

Thanks to Kiley for the joke and to Jason for the use of his phone to write this blog.

We are staying at my husband’s parents’ house right now. It’s been a nice time to relax, eat, and spend time as a family. Although we only had to travel an hour from our house, it feels like a mini get away. I get extra hands to help with the baby and extra eyes for my toddler while being fed and taken care of.

I hope you all are having a happy Thanksgiving. Anyone planning to be at Aeropostale at 3:30 am when it opens? I won’t be there, you can count on that! I might only be half way done with my nighttime feedings by then. Eleven o’clock at Caribou Coffee sounds like something that is more my style.