As you have noticed, I am cur­rently not “feel­ing it” as far as my blog goes.  I am unin­spired and unmo­ti­vated to write about nurs­ing, cloth dia­per­ing, par­ent­ing, or any of the other things that my tagline says this blog is about.  I still adore those things, but I don’t want to write about them.  A friend of mine sug­gested that I do word­less Wednes­day for a while until I get back on track.  Thanks, Allie!  I think I might try that along with a cou­ple other memes for a while.  So, I know I’ve said this before, but I think I might try to make another come­back.    Maybe NaBloPoMo in Novem­ber will be the key yet again.

They are my new obses­sion.  Who are the Sil­ver­sun Pick­ups?  It’s okay to ask.  I didn’t know either until about a month ago.  I mean, I had heard of them, but I hadn’t heard them.  They are a band.  My hus­band, Jason, has been lis­ten­ing to them for quite a while.  He had two of their albums (are they called albums?  cds?) on iTunes, and I remem­ber see­ing the group’s name, but I didn’t stop to see what they played.  Then, he bought their newest cd called Swoon.

I still wasn’t all that inter­ested.  Then, one night after a La Leche League meet­ing, Swoon was on the stereo, and I started lis­ten­ing.  I lis­tened to the first sev­eral songs.  I got stuck on a song called Grow­ing Old is Get­ting Old.  I am sure I lis­tened to that one at least 20 times.  I started lis­ten­ing to the cd when I was cook­ing, when I was read­ing, when I was play­ing stu­pid online games.  It was so good.

I became a Face­book fan.  I fol­low them on Twit­ter, and then, I saw them on David Let­ter­man!  They were great.  They sang Panic Switch which is one of their more pop­u­lar songs.  I thought they did a very nice job.  The mix of music and voice seemed a lit­tle off to me at the begin­ning, but I thought they fin­ished well.

I have been telling every­one I know about this new band I just dis­cov­ered (a year or so after my hus­band, whoops).  One ques­tion I haven’t really been able to answer is who do they sound like?  That may be one of my favorite things about them.  They don’t really sound like any­one.  They sound like them­selves.  On their Wikipedia page, there are a few bands listed as influ­ences, but none of them are bands I have lis­tened to with any reg­u­lar­ity.  Some I haven’t even heard of.

If you’re look­ing for a new group to fol­low, I would def­i­nitely sug­gest the Sil­ver­sun Pick­ups.  I’m not sure what it is about them.  There’s just some­thing about their music that keeps me lis­ten­ing over and over again.  I hope that they don’t wait three years before releas­ing another full length cd.

But I couldn’t find the right pic­ture.  Darn.

Although I am still recov­er­ing from the travel, lack of sleep, and chaos of the week­end, I have to admit I am already try­ing to fig­ure out if I can go again next year in New York.

I left my apart­ment of only 2 weeks last Thurs­day.  I drove to Min­neapo­lis (about 5 hours away) where I would be fly­ing out to Chicago.  Thurs­day night, I had sup­per with a friend of mine from ele­men­tary and high school who had lived two houses down from me for about 14 years and the neigh­bor who had lived in between us.  It was a lit­tle reunion for us.  Sur­pris­ingly lit­tle of our con­ver­sa­tion cen­tered on our expe­ri­ences grow­ing up, but it was fun to recon­nect with them after not see­ing them for sev­eral years.  After sup­per, of course, I made the respon­si­ble choice and went to bed early in prepa­ra­tion for my 6 am flight, I stayed up talk­ing with my brother and sister-in-law far too late.  I got about 3 hours of sleep before it was time to get up.  For­tu­nately, my travel was pretty seam­less.  I had no issues with secu­rity.  My flight was on time.  We arrived in Chicago a lit­tle before sched­uled, and I was able to maneu­ver the blue line and find­ing a cab all by myself!  I waited to reg­is­ter, and I began meet­ing other blog­gers right away.  Molly was stand­ing behind me in line, and we vis­ited while we waited to get our badges and bags.  After the first ses­sion and speed dat­ing, I vis­ited with Andi and Kim.

I went to a great ses­sion about find­ing your mommy blog­ging tribe.  In each ses­sion, I felt like I picked up one or two key points.  If I had let myself over think it or get over­whelmed, I could prob­a­bly ended up throw­ing my hands up and say­ing that I wasn’t going to do any­thing new because there were too many things to do or as Megan said sev­eral blog­gers do each year, throw­ing in the towel and shut­ting down my blog.  Instead, I decided to focus on these things:  First, be who I am.  Write for myself and own my blog posts and my life and my thoughts.  Sec­ond, com­ment on oth­ers blogs.  I am not an amaz­ingly great writer, but I think I have some pretty inter­est­ing things to say once in a while.  I think it is okay for me to put those on my blog and share them with oth­ers when I read their blogs.

As part of my BlogHer expe­ri­ence, I was cho­sen as a vol­un­teer to be a micro­phone wran­gler.  That meant that I was assigned to four ses­sions (out of the six avail­able) to hold the micro­phone and get it to the per­son mak­ing a com­ment or ask­ing a ques­tion.  Because of this, I ended up attend­ing a cou­ple ses­sions I wouldn’t have cho­sen otherwise.

The first ses­sion I “worked” (although I can hardly call it work­ing), was a ses­sion for blog­gers who didn’t fit into the typ­i­cal blog cat­e­gories (i.e. mom blog, polit­i­cal blog, review blog).  After that, I wran­gled the micro­phone at the ses­sion dis­cussing what it meant to be pro-woman in a post-Palin world.  This ses­sion had an amaz­ing panel.  There was a very lively dis­cus­sion, and by the end, the miro­phone was placed in the stand and peo­ple were so anx­ious to talk that they were lin­ing up at the stand for their turn.  Lucky for me.  I was able to sit back and lis­ten.  Both of these ses­sions were SO good.  They had amaz­ingly diverse and thought­ful women on their pan­els.  Although,  I have to admit that I hadn’t read any of the blogs of the women on the pan­els I attended, I can safely say that I will be adding most if not all of them to my Google reader.

Fri­day night wrapped up with the com­mu­nity keynote.  This is the ses­sion where blog­gers sub­mit their best posts of the year and sev­eral are cho­sen to be read to those who attend the con­fer­ence.  Karen W was one of the blog­gers cho­sen to read her post.  She also has a sum­mary post that lists all the blog­gers and their cho­sen posts (about halfway down).

Fri­day night, we social­ized.  There was a cock­tail party com­plete with Wii bowl­ing and karaoke in one of the ball­rooms.  At that party, I showed up look­ing very cute in a new dress, but I knew NO ONE!  That is absolutely not my idea of a com­fort­able sit­u­a­tion.  So, I walked around the edge of the room until I spot­ted some­one else who was alone.  Emma was stand­ing around watch­ing peo­ple.  I took a chance and intro­duced myself.  She and I vis­ited a while.  Then, her friends Annie and Allie arrived.  Even­tu­ally, I also met Jen­nifer and Amy, too!  Hav­ing met so many new peo­ple, I was very excited to meet Amy whose blog I have been read­ing for quite a while now.  Hav­ing quite a bit in com­mon with these ladies, I was very glad to be able to hang out with and fol­low them around for the evening!

At some point, I also met Tara who I had been fol­low­ing on Twit­ter for a few weeks.  It was fun to put faces and names together.  It was also a lit­tle funny, because I didn’t rec­og­nize either Tara or Amy until some­one explained who they were to me.  After 22 hours, I col­lapsed into bed.  I will admit, I skipped the keynote and the sec­ond ses­sion on Saturday.

My first ses­sion was titled “Women of Color and Mar­ket­ing.”  Again, I fig­ured that this was a ses­sion that was prob­a­bly not all that use­ful for me.  First, I am not a woman of color, and sec­ondly and more impor­tantly, I have noth­ing to do with mar­ket­ing.  I am not mar­ket­ing any­thing, and I am not mar­keted to.  I fig­ured it was just one of those things.  Attend the ses­sion because I was a vol­un­teer and it was my job.  Well, um, I was obvi­ously wrong again.  This was prob­a­bly my favorite ses­sion of the con­fer­ence.  I know, I know.  The panel was AMAZING.  The room was packed, and every time some­one made a com­ment, I found myself being more and more impressed with the intel­li­gent, well spo­ken, crit­i­cal think­ing, smart, beau­ti­ful, and funny women at the con­fer­ence.  Seri­ously amazing.

Thurs­day after­noon, I vol­un­teered at the Green and Eco Blog­ging ses­sion.  Although, I was bummed that I didn’t win the Miche­lin tires that were given away at the begin­ning of that ses­sion, it cer­tainly didn’t hurt when I found out that I won a Mac­Book from the Safe­ty­Tat give­away.  Then, I won all the give­aways I will win for a decade because I fol­lowed up the Mac­Book win by win­ning a Flip Ultra from Mom­flu­ence at the clos­ing keynote session!

Now, as part of being a mom blog­ger, I will abruptly end this post to go get my chil­dren who are awake from their after­noon naps!

I love com­ments.  I love read­ing com­ments on oth­ers’ blogs.  I love when some­one com­ments on some­thing I write.  I like leav­ing them, too.  Unfor­tu­nately, I am par­tic­u­larly bad at doing it.  I read most of my blogs in Google Reader.  This makes it harder to com­ment.  It is espe­cially hard when I for­get about them for a few days and the unread posts pile up into the hun­dreds.  I end up skim­ming more than I would like.  I also just find that I feel like I don’t have time to stop and com­ment.  Booo! I know.  Here I am writ­ing about how much I enjoy read­ing what oth­ers have to say, and I give a lame-o excuse for not doing it myself.

I guess I need to do some­thing about it.  Either I need to read fewer blogs (can’t see this hap­pen­ing), or I need to make it a pri­or­ity (that sounds like a great idea, Casey!).    So, those of you whose blogs I read will (hope­fully) be see­ing more com­ments from me in the future!

Right now, I am sit­ting on our couch stew­ing about our house sit­u­a­tion and lis­ten­ing to A cough.    Poor kiddo.  He has had a slightly runny nose for the past cou­ple weeks.  It hasn’t even been runny, but every once in a while, he needs a tis­sue.  It just seems like it is a bit more than a nor­mal nose.

Now, he is cough­ing.  If you have read my past blog posts about my cur­rent frus­tra­tions with my health, you prob­a­bly know that cough­ing is a sore sub­ject for me.  As long as I can remem­ber, cough­ing has been my symp­tom of a cold.  When­ever I hear one of my kids cough­ing, I am imme­di­ately anx­ious about it.  I think about how I feel when I can’t sleep because I am cough­ing.  I think about how it has been such a strug­gle to get an answer for the cause of my cough­ing.  I think about how he must feel.  In fact, at some points, the trou­ble we have had con­trol­ling both mine and K’s allergies/asthma/coughing/whatever it is has actu­ally affected my think­ing about hav­ing more chil­dren in the future.

Right now, as I sit here and lis­ten to him cough, I feel like this is some­thing I did to him.  Poor kiddo.

I am a neglect­ful blog­ger.  I admit it!  Every time I get started blog­ging again, some­thing else comes up, and I take another long hia­tus.  I am sorry to any­one who does still read this blog.  I am try­ing to do bet­ter. 

Those of you who know me in per­son have most likely heard me talk about want­ing to move back into town.  Three years ago, we bought the house we cur­rently live in, and it is about 10 miles out of town in a small bed­room com­mu­nity.  For var­i­ous rea­sons, we want to go back to town.  We decided some time over the win­ter that we were going to put our house on the mar­ket and see what would hap­pen with it.  Our orig­i­nal goal was to have it up by May 1, then May 15, and finally June 2 or 3.  Well, for the last month, Jason and I have been clean­ing, orga­niz­ing, and declut­ter­ing.  We missed our goal of hav­ing it up on the mar­ket by June 2 or 3, but we did list it on Fri­day.  By Fri­day at noon, we had appoint­ments for three show­ings (with a fourth added later that evening).

It was a crazy day.  I ended up tak­ing all of our extra stuff out of the house and tak­ing the boys to a friend’s house.  We were sup­posed to have had another friend and her fam­ily over for sup­per here, but because of the tim­ing of one show­ing, we decided I would make sup­per at her house.  I threw all the food for sup­per in the van, too.  I got the boys out of the house at about 1:00 for the 1:30 show­ing, and we were out for the rest of the after­noon and evening.

We found out that two of the par­ties who had seen our house made offers.  We accepted the sec­ond offer on Sat­ur­day, and our house is offi­cially pend­ing right now.  Isn’t that amaz­ing?  The buyer had ini­tially pro­posed a clos­ing date of July 8th, but because we haven’t looked at ANY houses yet, we are plan­ning to close some time on or before July 16th.  Any prayers for the sit­u­a­tion would be appre­ci­ated!    God has worked this all out so won­der­fully, I am not wor­ried, but I know that even with every­thing going as planned buy­ing and sell­ing houses can be very stressful.

We are plan­ning to look at houses this week with our real­tor.  We made a list of all the houses that fit our price range and cri­te­ria.  We looked through it, and we man­aged to elim­i­nate 2.  Now, we only have 11 more to look at!    Eleven seems like it might be a smidge too many, but I just couldn’t not see them!

This is why I am not blog­ging right now.  I am not read­ing.  I am not exer­cis­ing much.  I am not cook­ing as much as I want.  I was only clean­ing, orga­niz­ing, and think­ing about clean­ing and orga­niz­ing.    It seems unbliev­able that when I go to BlogHer in about 6 weeks, I will no longer be liv­ing in this house!

Time to cel­e­brate!  I’m going to BlogHer ’09.  I have been dream­ing and wish­ing for a chance to go for sev­eral months now.  This year, it will be held in Chicago, IL.  Although it’s not quite next door to me, it’s about as close as most major events get when you live an hour from the Cana­dian bor­der in North Dakota. 

Even more excit­ing, is that I will have a chance to vol­un­teer at BlogHer.  I will be a micro­phone wran­gler.  I’m sooooooooooo excited!  In Octo­ber of last year, I attended a con­fer­ence in Texas, and dur­ing most of the con­fer­ence, I was as busy watch­ing the cam­era men, the light­ing peo­ple, and the other peo­ple run­ning around with head­sets on that I may have missed a few good points.  Whoops!

This year’s theme for the con­fer­ence is “In Real Life.” I am look­ing for­ward to this for a few rea­sons.  One is that I love some of the blogs that I read and I am hop­ing to see/meet some of those blog­gers in real life.  Another rea­son is that I am look­ing for more blogs to read (although one could make an argu­ment against this based on my 700 unread posts in my Google Reader right now), and it’s always fun to read a blog of some­one you know in real life.  Finally, I’m try­ing to fig­ure out how to get to know more peo­ple in the blog­ging com­mu­nity.  Some of my friends blog, but most of them do family/kid/picture blogs.  My blog is a lit­tle dif­fer­ent in that I tend to edi­to­ri­al­ize on top­ics rather than  report­ing what we did or show­ing pic­tures from a fam­ily gath­er­ing.  I am hop­ing to learn a thing or two about this at the conference.

Are any of you going to BlogHer?  Do any of you have any expe­ri­ence or knowl­edge about down­town Chicago?  If so, I’d love to hear from you.  I’m look­ing for a room­mate for the con­fer­ence and some leads for some­where to stay the night before and after the conference.

After a break, I’m back!

Nothing’s wrong.  Noth­ing hap­pened.  I just felt like I needed a break, and so I took one.    I’m not sure it was refresh­ing or reju­ve­nat­ing, but boy have the blog posts been pil­ing up in my mind!

I should have plenty to say for the next sev­eral days.  Check back!

So, some­one com­mented that I had started to talk about how I met Jason but never fin­ished the story. I have had a busy week and been pretty tired at the end of the days, so I put it off, because it is a pretty long story. Tonight, though, I’m going to rem­i­nisce and do my best to make it as inter­est­ing to you as it is to me.

The first time I met Jason was at a Cam­pus Cru­sade Christ­mas Con­fer­ence in Min­neapo­lis. How­ever, that wasn’t the first time I had ever seen him. He was in my fresh­man Applied Cal­cu­lus class. It was a huge class of like 150–200 peo­ple (I’m ter­ri­ble at esti­mates, but this is how I remem­ber it). We had never talked because of the size of the class, but I knew he was in my class. He didn’t remem­ber me from class though. When we are at Christ­mas Con­fer­ence, a friend intro­duced us. We played the card game Hearts with a cou­ple other friends. I don’t play cards, and I am not good at card games. How­ever, that night, I man­aged to win the game by a LOT. We talked a bit through­out the week­end. Noth­ing par­tic­u­larly excit­ing as far as I remember.

We went home and the semes­ter started. We didn’t have any classes together from then on, but we had lots of mutual friends. We ended up being at a lot of the same events and activ­i­ties. Toward the end of Jan­u­ary, Jason called me one day and asked if I wanted to go to a movie. I’m not sure what in the world I was think­ing, but I chose the movie In Dreams with Annette Ben­ing. I chose the movie, and now I have to won­der what in the world I was think­ing!?!? It wasn’t a blind date, but we def­i­nitely didn’t know each other well, nor was I plan­ning on hold­ing on tight to his arm and bury­ing my head in his shoul­der. I don’t know.

We kept see­ing each other. We ended up dat­ing through the rest of the school year, that sum­mer, and into the fall. Then, it hap­pened. Jason men­tioned in pass­ing some­thing about sav­ing money and about feel­ing more seri­ous about me. I flipped out and did the only log­i­cal thing. I broke up with him. Dur­ing the time we were dat­ing, we had spent a lot of time together or talk­ing on the phone. He took the breakup very hard. I knew that he was upset about it and that he was hav­ing a hard time, but I didn’t know how to be a friend to him with­out being a girlfriend.

I had told Jason that I felt like he was expect­ing too much from me in the rela­tion­ship and he needed to develop other friend­ships. So, while we were bro­ken up, he did just that. He made some great friends and become one of the more pop­u­lar peo­ple in the cir­cle of friends we were a part of. He really grew as a per­son and a friend dur­ing this time. After a few months, I could see that he was a com­pletely dif­fer­ent per­son. Dur­ing this time, we saw a lot of each other, but we rarely talked. I made sure of that. I didn’t know what to say to him. I didn’t seek him out, and I often ran away from him if I felt he was going to attempt to talk to me. My friends often ran inter­fer­ence for me. They would talk to him while I would escape and avoid.

For about a year, we didn’t talk much. Dur­ing that year, I spent sev­eral months work­ing at a camp in the Bound­ary Waters Canoe Area in north­ern Min­nesota. While I was there, I ended up dat­ing some­one else. It was one of those rela­tion­ships. There was no poten­tial there. We didn’t click, and it wasn’t healthy for either of us. Great, huh? I ended that rela­tion­ship the day before I turned 21, and I didn’t feel any regret at any point afterwards.

In Jan­u­ary of 2001, I was work­ing at my on-campus job when I found out that Jason had taken a job across the hall­way from me. At some point, things had become less awk­ward for us, and I didn’t think any­thing about Jason being in the same build­ing as me every day. There were quite a few col­lege aged work­ers in my office and in his. We vis­ited. We got cof­fee in the break room. We became friends again. At some point, I asked Jason if he would help me with some com­puter prob­lems I was hav­ing. He told me sure, but I had to make him sup­per and help him dye his hair. I fig­ured it wasn’t a bad trade off. He came over a few times and worked on my com­puter. At the time, I didn’t know it, but later he told me he could have fixed my prob­lems in one evening, but he kept drag­ging it out to be able to spend more time together. (I never had a clue!)

Dur­ing this time, Jason had been look­ing for jobs. He was plan­ning to grad­u­ate in May, and he needed a job. He inter­viewed for a job in Mitchell, SD and one in Min­neapo­lis, MN. Nei­ther of those ended up work­ing out. I knew at this point I was inter­ested in him, but I also knew that he was going to move in just a cou­ple months, so there was no rea­son to start a rela­tion­ship that wouldn’t go anywhere.

Feb­ru­ary came, and so did Valentine’s Day. One of my room­mates had a very steady boyfriend, so she was pretty excited to be receiv­ing a dozen roses. My other room­mate didn’t have a boyfriend, but she wasn’t ever short on male admir­ers. She was darn cute and nice! I was unat­tached and expected noth­ing. Shock­ingly, I got a bou­quet of red roses with­out a card. I called my dad and thanked him for the flow­ers. He didn’t know if they were from him and my mom, but he played along and said thanks. My mom called later, and she denied send­ing the flow­ers. Out of nowhere, she said, “They’re from Jason.” I told her they couldn’t be. He wasn’t inter­ested in me any­more. I’d had my chance.

Later that night, I did get a call from Jason. He was at a Valentine’s Day sup­per at his church for col­lege stu­dents where the guys cooked sup­per for the women. We vis­ited a lit­tle on the phone, and I asked how his sup­per was going. Then, he told me that the roses were from him. Then, he said bye and that he’d see me at work.

Um, what??? Why would you send roses to some­one with no card, tell her they are from you, and then nothing?

I spent quite a bit of time pray­ing and think­ing and read­ing my bible. I knew that when we had first dated Jason had been very seri­ous about our rela­tion­ship and had had a very hard time with the breakup. I knew that if I was going to con­sider being in a rela­tion­ship with him again, I needed to also con­sider mar­riage. I know that sounds like a huge leap. I didn’t nec­es­sar­ily think that dat­ing equaled engage­ment, but I knew that in order for it to be fair to both of us, I had to be ready for it to go that way.

A few days later, I was leav­ing town for a wed­ding. I was sup­posed to be leav­ing on Thurs­day after­noon, but I ended up not feel­ing well. I stayed home and took a nap. At some point that day, our phone rang. It was Jason. He didn’t want to talk to me though. He was talk­ing to my room­mate and one of my best friends at the time. He was ask­ing her what I thought of him, if I was inter­ested, what he should do, etc. She was giv­ing me big wide eyes and mouthing “what do I say???” I just layed on the chair and lis­tened to her side of the con­ver­sa­tion instead of let­ting poor Jason know I was there. Poor guy. She ended up telling him that I was indeed inter­ested in him, and that if he wanted to pur­sue dat­ing, I was prob­a­bly interested.

The next week, Jason came over to my apart­ment. We talked about us and the rela­tion­ship and how we had already dated. We decided that we would really watch our time closely. We didn’t want to com­pro­mise our rela­tion­ships with friends, our classes, or our­selves by spend­ing all of our time together right away.

At that time, I Kissed Dat­ing Good­bye by Josh Har­ris was a pretty pop­u­lar book. I was read­ing at that time, and it was actu­ally that book (although I’m fuzzy on specif­i­cally what in the book) that helped me decide I was ready to start dat­ing Jason again.

At some point in all of this, Jason was offered the interim posi­tion he had already been doing and was asked to apply for the per­ma­nent posi­tion. This was a load off my mind because it meant he wouldn’t be mov­ing after all. How­ever, the uni­ver­sity and bureau­cracy being what they are, the posi­tion ended up not com­ing through.

We con­tin­ued dat­ing, and while we were exclu­sive and didn’t see any­one else, we weren’t extremely seri­ous. That sum­mer, I went back to the Bound­ary Waters in north­ern Min­nesota to coun­sel at the same camp for a sec­ond sum­mer. Being sep­a­rated was hard. For me, it was eas­ier because I was busy for about 18 hours a day with my campers. At the end of the sum­mer, I went back home, and it was a lit­tle weird for me. It was almost like start­ing over a lit­tle bit.

Also dur­ing the sum­mer, Jason had been offered and had taken a job with the state of North Dakota. He trained teach­ers to use tech­nol­ogy. This involved a lot of dri­ving and a fair amount of time away from home for train­ing and work trips. So, after being apart all sum­mer, we were now apart when I thought we would get to spend time together. Our rela­tion­ship sort of car­ried on as it had been in the spring.

Then, came Sep­tem­ber. I’m not sure what changed, and look­ing back, nei­ther is Jason. He went on a trip for work to Hous­ton, TX, and he was gone for 4 or 5 days. While he was gone, I decided (or finally real­ized) I was in love with him and wanted to get mar­ried. I could barely wait for him to get home from his trip! I think I man­aged to wait until the day after he got home, but as we were watch­ing tv and doing home­work, I said to him, “Where is this rela­tion­ship going?” Shocked (under­stand­ably), he said “what do you mean?” I told him that I was ready to be seri­ous and that if he was, I thought we should talk about that. If he wasn’t I didn’t know where we were going. Once he picked his jaw up off the floor (again, poor guy), he told me that I should prob­a­bly fig­ure out what kind of ring I wanted if we were to get engaged.

From that point, things moved pretty quickly. We had “the talk” in the mid­dle of Sep­tem­ber. We got engaged in the mid­dle of Octo­ber, and we were mar­ried in June of 2002. Some of my fam­ily was shocked. At our pre­vi­ous fam­ily gath­er­ing (the wed­ding in Feb), I hadn’t men­tioned any­one. Then, at Christ­mas, I was engaged.
I guess you just can’t plan those things.

Through all of our dat­ing, I always knew that Jason had seri­ous feel­ings for me and that he was very sure of our rela­tion­ship. I only found out dur­ing our engage­ment how sure he was of our rela­tion­ship. He told me that the night we met, he had been sit­ting across the room from me, looked at me, and he knew at that moment that we were going to get married.

*sigh* What more could a girl hope for?