The Beautiful Letdown

A breastfeeding blog that dabbles in tandem, extended nursing, gentle parenting and much more

My Breastfeeding Goals — January Breastfeeding Carnival

January20

Wel­come to the Jan­u­ary Breast­feed­ing Carnival!

This month, all the posters will be dis­cussing their breast­feed­ing goals. I will link to the other par­tic­i­pants as they post. Check back through­out the next cou­ple of days to make sure you get all the links!

Here are my breast­feed­ing goals.

Cur­rently, I am an extended, tan­dem nurs­ing mother. I have a three year old and a one year old who are breast­feed­ing. Three years ago, my goals were to breast­feed my older son, K, for 6 weeks. Once I achieved that goal, I set longer and longer time based goals. With my sec­ond son, A, I didn’t really set those types of goals (6 weeks, 6 months, 1 year), because I was still breast­feed­ing K, and I knew that I would be able to make it as long as we both desired.

As 2008 came to a close, I started think­ing about my life. I started think­ing about goals I wanted to have for 2009. I joined a read­ing chal­lenge. I set a fit­ness goal. Then, I thought about breast­feed­ing, and from a quick glance at my sit­u­a­tion, it would appear that I don’t need to make a goal, right? Maybe some peo­ple would encour­age me to set some wean­ing goals, but that’s not really my desire. My desire has been for some time now to let both of my boys self wean. I want Mommy Milk to be avail­able to them as long as they need it. I sup­pose some peo­ple would also say that’s a goal. I sup­pose it is, but I decided that more than that, I want breast­feed­ing to be a good, close bond­ing expe­ri­ence for us just as it was when they were tiny. After think­ing about it for some time, I decided that I do have breast­feed­ing goals that are very inten­tional and not just going with the flow.

1. I want to “be there” with each of my boys when he is nurs­ing. I won’t be talk­ing on the phone, watch­ing tv, read­ing, or talk­ing to some­one else.
2. I want to con­tinue to nurse on demand through the day. My boys are both night weaned, but because i have put that restric­tion on their nurs­ing, I don’t want to have restric­tions dur­ing the day.

3. I want to respond to their desire to nurse with honor and respect for their needs and wants. Some­times I tend to feel “touched out.” When I am touched out, I find it harder to nurse on demand and harder to be pos­i­tive, lov­ing, and respect­ful. Some­times I feel grudg­ing, tired, and crabby. I want to remem­ber that this is some­thing I choose to give my chil­dren as long as they need it. Because it is a choice to con­tinue, I want to do so in a way that respects every­one involved.

4. Lastly, I want to con­tinue to talk about tan­dem nurs­ing and extended nurs­ing. I want peo­ple to know that there are moms out there who are doing these things and that both the moms and the chil­dren are healthy, nor­mal, and well-adjusted people.

Check out these blogs for more breast­feed­ing goals (updated as the posts go live):

Secrets of Orual

Moth­er­wear

Zen Mommy

Hobo Mama

Breastfeeding123

Black­tat­ing

MilkAct

Mama Knows Breast

Breast­feed­ing Mums

posted under Breastfeeding Carnival
8 Comments to

“My Breastfeeding Goals — January Breastfeeding Carnival”

  1. On January 20th, 2009 at 3:27 pm misty Says:

    I just wanted to say how thought­ful and well-written your post is, and how much I enjoyed read­ing it. I did not think I was up for tan­dem nurs­ing b/twn my first 2, but some­times I won­der, you know?
    I love espe­cially what you said about being there while nurs­ing… I know how easy it is to get sucked into some­thing else, be it phone, tv or what­ever… but to truly be present with your lit­tle one… this time is so short lived… trea­sure it!! beau­ti­ful blog!! i’ll be back for sure!

  2. On January 20th, 2009 at 4:00 pm Stephanie Says:

    What beau­ti­ful thoughts! Although I only have one nursling, I can really relate to feel­ing touched out and all the other emo­tions that accom­pany that. I have also found that work­ing on my own mind­set really helps over­come feel­ings of annoy­ance and impa­tience more than any­thing else.

    I may be headed for tan­dem nurs­ing, too, some­day, but I’m not sure if I’ll have the strength and poise to pull it off. I com­mend you for con­tin­u­ing to pro­vide both your babies with nature’s best!

  3. On January 20th, 2009 at 4:43 pm The Goal of Exclusive Breastfeeding for the First Six Months Says:

    […] be brave ~ Hobo Mama: How to meet the per­sonal goal of breast­feed­ing long-term ~ Beau­ti­ful Let­down: Goals as an extended tan­dem nurs­ing mother Tags: blog-carnival, breast­feed­ing goals, infant nutri­tion, intro­duc­ing solid […]

  4. On January 20th, 2009 at 9:15 pm Elita Says:

    I give props to any­one who can tan­dem nurse and nurse while preg­nant. As ded­i­cated as I am to pro­vid­ing mama milk, I don’t know if I could do it. Your kids are lucky!

  5. On January 21st, 2009 at 4:33 am Sinead at Breastfeeding Mums Tickers Says:

    I really enjoyed read­ing your post and think you are doing exactly the right thing for your boys. It’s so impor­tant to remind your­self why you chose to breast­feed — espe­cially when you’re feel­ing tired and fed up!

    Good luck for the com­ing year!

  6. On January 25th, 2009 at 8:58 pm Kelly Turner Says:

    wow– I didnt know there was so much to breastfeeding!

    Kelly Turner
    http://www.everygymsnightmare.com

  7. On January 26th, 2009 at 5:27 pm cathy Says:

    Nice post! I’m wean­ing my 2.5 yr old now, and every nurs­ing ses­sion seems pre­cious to me now. I think that your goals will only help you remem­ber this time with your chil­dren more fondly and help the bond between you and your chil­dren grow stronger. Good luck with it!

  8. On February 4th, 2009 at 2:45 pm Anna Says:

    I also have a 3 year old and a 1 year old. I was plan­ning to nurse through my sec­ond preg­nancy and then tan­dem nurse, but my doc­tor told me to stop nurs­ing because he was afraid that I wouldn’t get enough calo­ries for all three of us. I now know that he was wrong, but at the time I believed him (I live in west­ern MN, and the doc­tors in my area do not really encour­age breast­feed­ing). I did drag my feet and instead of wean­ing him at 12 months he was almost 14 months by the time we stopped. I regret it now and I’m plan­ning to nurse my 1 year old until he decides on his own to wean.

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